Funny Insults

You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

If she had as many sticking out of her as she's had stuck in her, she'd look like a porcupine.

You've a face like a million dollars - all green and wrinkled.

You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.

You're so fat your year book picture was taken by a helicopter.

If I gave a shit, it would be on your face.

Yo momma so ugly she made a blind kid cry.

Yo Momma's so poor burglars break into her home and leave money.

You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.

You're so ugly, when you were born, your mom said "What a treasure!" and your dad said "Yes, let's bury it!"

Nice tan! What's your race? Carrot?

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called happiness.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball; she gets fingered, thrown down an alley and comes back for more.

If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment.

So a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Yo momma went to the doctors to get weighed and he said 'I want your weight, not your phone number.'

You've had more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

Yo momma's so ugly, she scared the shit out of the toilet.

Your so fat that when got on the elevater it said only 15 people at a time maximum thank you