Funny Insults

I fart to make you smell better.

Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

You are so ugly, the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.

You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"

Yo mamma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn

Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves!

Person: You are what you eat. Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.

Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.

You're proof that evolution can go in reverse.

The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.

You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.

Glad you think I give a fuck but sorry, no such luck.

I'm not saying I hate you, I just hope you get fingered by Wolverine.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Can I take your picture? I love to collect photos of natural disasters.

Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.