Freak Insults

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you!?

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.

By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo, don't worry I will be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you!

Insult: You're jealous! Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go bury it"!

THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME.

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.