Comeback Insults

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.

Hey, that was quite a mouthful, but I guess you're used to that sort of thing.

Insult: Fail! Comeback: Just like your social life

If you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

I'm fat because everytime I did your mom, she gave me a cookie.

You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.

You might as well wear a tampon on your head because if you're gonna act like a pussy you might as well look like one too.

You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.

I think "dildo" is a perfectly acceptable insult. I'd call you a dick, but you're not real enough.

*Sneeze* Oh, excuse me! I'm allergic to bullshit.

I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.

If shit took a look at you it would say hi mom.

If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in good shape

I have heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of rice crispies!

You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!

I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.

Person 1: Can't you take a joke? Person 2: Yeah, I could. If you had one.

I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.