Comeback Insults

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go.

You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!

Butt and ugly decided to have a kid. Guess what? You're the result.

Grip your ears firmly, and pull your head out of your ass.

Insult: Suck my dick. Comeback: Get one first!

*Sneeze* Oh, excuse me! I'm allergic to bullshit.

I'd call you an idiot but that would be an insult to stupid people.

Cool story bro, now when's the part when I give a fuck?

If I had a dollar for everyone I'd met as beautiful as you, I'd be as poor as dirt.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Woah, who pissed in your fruitloops this morning?

I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.

Insult: You're gay. Comeback : Bitch, I'm straighter than the pole your mother danced on last night.

Cool story bro, now make me a sandwich.

You're the dick you'll never have.

And what are YOU? The poster boy for birth control?

I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.

The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.

Insult: You ruined it. Comeback: Your ass ruined where your face was supposed to go.