Comeback Insults

Fucked your mom last night. Comeback: I didn't know my mom was a lesbian!

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.

You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.

I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

Don't like my sarcasm? Well, I don't like your stupid.

Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.

I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

Insult: You're gay. Comeback: Well I'm straighter than the pole you dance on.

If I gave a shit, it would be on your face.

You're spreading rumors about me? At least you found a hobby spreading something other than your legs.

Did you leave the stove on? Cause you just got burned!

I am straighter than the pole your Mom danced on in front of me last night.

Insult: You suck. Comeback: Not for free.

The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was a penis.

So a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

I got 99 problems, but bitch you ain't one.

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.