Comeback Insults

Insult: Why do you even wear a bra? You don't have anything to put in it. Comeback: You wear pants, don't you?

If you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

Insult: Suck my dick! Comeback: Why take the job away from your mother?

Person: You are what you eat. Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.

Person: What are you looking at? Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.

Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.

I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.

If you have a problem with me, please kindly write it on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up, and put it in your ass.

I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.

Bully: You're stupid! Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.

Bully: Give me your money! Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.

Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.

I'd call you a retard, but that would be insulting to retards.

I would slap you, but I don't want to make your face look any better.

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.

Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.