Random Birth Insults

Looks like you got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Yo momma's so hairy, when you were born she gave you a rug burn.

I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

Insult: You're stupid. Comback: Just like your Dad when he thought he wouldn't need a condom.

Your mother must have had to take a double dose of laxatives to bring you into the world.

The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.

Shut up, you failed result of an abortion.

At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter from the Trojan Co.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her butt and then her face and said twins!

"I would have been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence." - Sergeant Johnson.

Yo momma so old, the reason you were born was because no one knew about the birth!

Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had enough oxygen at birth?

Nobody would miss you if your dad had put you in a tissue.

You're the left-overs from the abortion bucket.

It's a wonder how some people found their way out of the birth canal.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?