Birth Insults

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had enough oxygen at birth?

It's a wonder how some people found their way out of the birth canal.

Nobody would miss you if your dad had put you in a tissue.

Shut up, you failed result of an abortion.

Looks like you got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.

Your mother must have had to take a double dose of laxatives to bring you into the world.

Insult: You're stupid. Comback: Just like your Dad when he thought he wouldn't need a condom.

Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!

Yo momma's so hairy, when you were born she gave you a rug burn.

At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter from the Trojan Co.

"I would have been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence." - Sergeant Johnson.

You're the left-overs from the abortion bucket.

Yo momma so old, the reason you were born was because no one knew about the birth!

The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

Yo momma is so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her butt and then her face and said twins!

Yo mamma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.