Asshole Insults

Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

Aww, what happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?

Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth just naturally full of shit?

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ.

Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.

You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.

Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.

Is your ass jelous of how much shit comes out of your mouth?

Two things: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?

People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.

You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.

If you're talking about me behind my back, that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.

You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!

I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.

If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead.

I don't hate you, but I wish your dad used a condom.