Asshole Insults

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called happiness.

If I wanted shit from you, I'd squeeze your head.

Insult: Kiss my ass. Girl: Which one? Because either way I'd get a mouthful of shit!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of a non-insulting way to describe you.

Did you stick your tampon too far up your crotch?

This is the government's plan to see if monkeys can type, and I have to say: they successfully accomplished that.

Your dad should of had made a white spot in the sheets instead of a black spot in society!

I wouldn't fuck you for practice.

When God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.

You have such a striking face. Tell me, how many times were you struck?

You're like a showbag; full of shit.

When you open your mouth, the flies on the other side of the world notice.

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

You are an oxygen thief.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.

If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.

Sorry , I don't speak dog!

You're outspoken, but not by anyone I know.

Look! You learned to talk!