Best Rude Insults

Insults and comebacks that are dirty or rude in nature, typically about sex. List of vulgar and rude insults and comebacks.

  • 1
    Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
    1.9K
  • 2
    You're the reason God created the middle finger.
    1.4K
  • 3
    Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
    976
  • 4
    You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
    826
  • 5
    Twinkle twinkle little slut,
    You like dick inside your butt.
    769
  • 6
    You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!
    707
  • 7
    I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.
    650
  • 8
    Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
    569
  • 9
    Your dick is like a landmine; small, hidden, and explodes on contact.
    505
  • 10
    Sorry for calling you a whore all those times. I didn't realize a lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart only dicks can fill.
    475
  • 11
    Nice "cumback", did you scrape it from the back of your throat?
    450
  • 12
    Practice safe sex; go screw yourself!
    413
  • 13
    You should classify your dick as a choking hazard, because little children choke on small things
    405
  • 14
    You should put a diaper on your face because that's where all the shit is coming out of.
    383
  • 15
    Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
    382
  • 16
    The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.
    371
  • 17
    You sir, deserve a blow job. From my pencil sharpener.
    342
  • 18
    I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
    333
  • 19
    I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
    321
  • 20
    I'm not saying I hate you, I just hope you get fingered by Wolverine.
    318