Best Rude Insults

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Twinkle twinkle little slut,
You like dick inside your butt.

You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.

You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!

I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

Your dick is like a landmine; small, hidden, and explodes on contact.

Sorry for calling you a whore all those times. I didn't realize a lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart only dicks can fill.

Nice "cumback", did you scrape it from the back of your throat?

Practice safe sex; go screw yourself!

You should classify your dick as a choking hazard, because little children choke on small things

You should put a diaper on your face because that's where all the shit is coming out of.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.

You sir, deserve a blow job. From my pencil sharpener.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

I'm not saying I hate you, I just hope you get fingered by Wolverine.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?