Rude Insults

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Practice safe sex; go screw yourself!

If you want to get laid, crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!

Who wears your CLEAN clothes?

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

You are the answer to my prayer!! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!!

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.

You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!

I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.