Best Mean Insults

Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?

At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter from the Trojan Co.

I don't hate you, but I wish your dad used a condom.

I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.

You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

Insult: Shut up. Comeback: Make me Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?

Your parents only had you cause your mother couldn't afford the abortion.

The world is a depressing place, but only because you are in it.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

Bitch, you're like summer; no class.

You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

You may be a beauiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside!

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.