Best Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • 41
    You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.
    316
  • 42
    People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.
    295
  • 43
    If I wanted a friend like you, I'd buy a dog.
    286
  • 44
    I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.
    265
  • 45
    If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
    250
  • 46
    You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!
    247
  • 47
    If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
    242
  • 48
    Interrupt my sleep and I'll interrupt your breathing.
    237
  • 49
    I don't hate you, but I wish your dad used a condom.
    237
  • 50
    "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    236
  • 51
    Your parents only had you cause your mother couldn't afford the abortion.
    231
  • 52
    Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
    230
  • 53
    I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.
    229
  • 54
    You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.
    224
  • 55
    I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
    221
  • 56
    If you ever wonder how mistakes are made you should go ask your mother. She knows all about it, she's got you to prove.
    217
  • 57
    Before I met you I thought God didn't make mistakes, but I guess I was wrong.
    215
  • 58
    I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.
    194
  • 59
    When you were younger, did your parents have to tie a steak around your neck so the other dogs would play with you?
    194
  • 60
    Your face is like porn for my hand; whenever you appear, my middle finger goes upwards.
    192