Best Mean Insults

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd probably be the one driving it.

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.

Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.

I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car, Throw you off a cliff so high, I hope you break your neck and die.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.

I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ.

You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

Nothing happens after you die? False. Some of us will be throwing a party.

God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.