Best Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • 1
    You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
    2.7K
  • 2
    Twinkle twinkle little star,
    I want to hit you with my car,
    Throw you off a cliff so high,
    I hope you break your neck and die.
    2.6K
  • 3
    My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
    1.8K
  • 4
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
    1.3K
  • 5
    Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
    1.3K
  • 6
    I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
    1.1K
  • 7
    I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    1K
  • 8
    I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.
    995
  • 9
    God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
    905
  • 10
    God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.
    892
  • 11
    I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
    810
  • 12
    THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME.
    774
  • 13
    When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
    765
  • 14
    If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
    692
  • 15
    Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?
    651
  • 16
    I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
    597
  • 17
    Sometimes, I REALLY want to slap you, but that's animal abuse.
    584
  • 18
    I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
    581
  • 19
    Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
    577
  • 20
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
    567