Best Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • 21
    I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
    535
  • 22
    Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
    500
  • 23
    I'm not saying I hate you, but if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd probably be the one driving it.
    482
  • 24
    When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
    474
  • 25
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
    462
  • 26
    You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
    426
  • 27
    Some people are like slinkies; they're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
    382
  • 28
    It's called FUCK OFF and it's located over there.
    373
  • 29
    I'd slap you, but shit stains.
    367
  • 30
    I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.
    360
  • 31
    We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
    355
  • 32
    If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ.
    342
  • 33
    Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
    340
  • 34
    You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.
    324
  • 35
    I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
    321
  • 36
    Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
    319
  • 37
    Bitch, you're like summer; no class.
    314
  • 38
    Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?
    313
  • 39
    Nothing happens after you die? False. Some of us will be throwing a party.
    307
  • 40
    Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.
    304