Fat Insults

Ready for some funny overweight banter? Comeback with these humorous insults for fat people.

  • You're so fat, when you do push-ups, your stomach hits the floor and leaves marks.
  • Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.
  • You're so fat that when a person was having sex with you they rolled over twice, they were still on top of you!
  • Damn - you need a bell hanging from your neck!
  • You're so fat, when you step on a weighing scale, it says fail.
  • You're so fat that even a picture of you would fall off the wall!
  • You're so fat, when God said let their be light, he said get your fat ass out the way.
  • You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.
  • You're so fat when you fell in love, you broke it.
  • You're the reason god created double doors!
  • Everyone stop insulting him, he has enough on his plate already.
  • Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jellow.
  • You're so fat your year book picture was taken by a helicopter.
  • When you stepped on the scale I thought my phone number popped up.
  • You're so fat, when you get bored of eating donuts, you shove two up your ass for the winter.
  • You're so fat, if I dropped a bag of Maltesers near you it would be a real life game of hungry hippos!
  • He has bigger tits than his mom
  • You're so fat, your ass looks like a road map.
  • You have more rolls then an elephant's scrotum.
  • You're so fat, you literally poop logs.