Best Good Comebacks

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

Glad you think I give a fuck but sorry, no such luck.

His teeth are brighter than he is.

If you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

Insult: You have no dick. Comeback: Because you sucked it too hard.

Insult: Have your balls dropped yet? You: Yeah, in your mom's mouth!

If bullshit could bounce, you'd be in fucking orbit.

Stop trying to be a smartass. You're just an ass.

Want some lip stick? I think you will need it when you kiss my ass.

You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.

If I wanted to see a bitch, I'd just buy a dog.

I've been called worse by better.

You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.

You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

My name's not dick so keep it out of your mouth.

If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your Mom's face.

Sorry, can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke

You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass