Best Good Comebacks

Insult: FAIL! Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story.

Insult: You're jealous! Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.

Person 1: What are you looking at? Person 2: That's what I'm trying to figure out

Insult: You're a fail. Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

She spread a rumor about me? Never mind, at least she spread something other than her legs.

Hey, unless your name is Google, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.

Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.

I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!

Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.

Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?

Insult: Suck my dick. Comeback: Get one first!

Person: What are you looking at? Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.

You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.

Oh, interesting. Let me just write that on my list of things that I don't give a shit about.

I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.