Best Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

21

Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.

1.1K
22

I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!

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23

I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked for your opinion.

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24

If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!

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25

Insult: You're a pussy.
Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.

1K
26

Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.

977
27

Insult: Why are you so fat?
Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

951
28

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.

929
29

Insult: You're jealous!
Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.

920
30

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

900
31

I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.

895
32

You know what's funny? Not you, so shut up.

884

33

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
When they gave out lives,
Where were you?

871
34

Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)

837
35

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

833
36

Hey, unless your name is Google, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.

808
37

Person: What are you looking at?
Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.

775
38

Oh, interesting. Let me just write that on my list of things that I don't give a shit about.

757
39

I Googled "Who Gives a Shit?"
My name wasn't in the results.

745
40

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.

735