Best Good Comebacks

I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.

Insult: Why are you so fat? Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

I poured my heart to you and you reply "oh lol." Bitch, I hope you get hit by a bus so I can be like... "oh lol."

No, no, sweetie. You're not 'THE shit'. You're a PIECE of shit. There's a world of difference.

I Googled "Who Gives a Shit?" My name wasn't in the results.

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)

Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.

Hey, that was quite a mouthful, but I guess you're used to that sort of thing.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.

Life's a bitch. Oh no, wait. That's you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, PornHub is down, Your mother's Facebook will do.

What goes around, comes around but I hope it hits you twice as fucking hard!

If I'm ugly, we must be twins.

Insult: You're a pussy. Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.

If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!

I'm sorry dear, but in order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.

I think "dildo" is a perfectly acceptable insult. I'd call you a dick, but you're not real enough.

It's a bird! It's a plane! No... Wait... It's that flying fuck I don't give.