Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I'd like to say I am happy you’re here. I’d like to.
    -271
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    When they gave out lives,
    Where were you?
    729
  • Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
    370
  • I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
    244
  • If you have ever been to a zoo, you obviously have not seen the animal you are...
    -352
  • Person: Haven't I seen you some place before?
    You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
    386
  • I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.
    318
  • No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.
    335
  • If I wanted a bitch I would have went straight to your mom.
    164
  • I'm being treated like shit, so I must be dealing with an asshole
    186
  • Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?
    68
  • Go suck yourself off, no-one else will.
    -214
  • Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.
    1.2K
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    PornHub is down,
    Your mother's Facebook will do.
    584
  • I'd try being nicer if you try being smarter.
    183
  • You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.
    133
  • Insult: Have your balls dropped yet?
    You: Yeah, in your mom's mouth!
    186
  • My name's not dick so keep it out of your mouth.
    167
  • Fucked your mom last night.
    Comeback: I didn't know my mom was a lesbian!
    139
  • I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.
    121