Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • Person: What are you looking at?
    Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.
    755
  • Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.
    345
  • The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
    303
  • I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.
    245
  • If you have a problem with me, please kindly write it on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up, and put it in your ass.
    411
  • Hey, unless your name is Google, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.
    791
  • I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
    580
  • Bully: You're stupid!
    Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.
    570
  • If I toss a stick, will you go away?
    290
  • Bully: Give me your money!
    Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.
    579
  • If being an asshole were against the law, you'd get the chair and I'd throw the switch.
    -299
  • The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!
    -551
  • Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.
    1.1K
  • I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.
    442
  • Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?
    580
  • I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.
    723
  • Off is the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
    76
  • Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
    1.7K
  • And what are YOU? The mascot for this country's mental retardation department?
    184
  • Know what makes me laugh hard? Your life!
    160