Good Comebacks

Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth just naturally full of shit?

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.

Insult: Suck my dick! Comeback: Why take the job away from your mother?

Person: You are what you eat. Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.

Person: What are you looking at? Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.

Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.

I can't understand you with all the shit coming out of your mouth.

If you have a problem with me, please kindly write it on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up, and put it in your ass.

Hey, unless your name is Google, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.

I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.

Bully: You're stupid! Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.

If I toss a stick, will you go away?

Bully: Give me your money! Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.

Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.

I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.

Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.

Off is the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.

Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.