Good Comebacks

His teeth are brighter than he is.

You sound reasonable.. Time to up the medication.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I'm sorry, how small did you say your chode was again?

Last time I heard that I was laughing so hard, I fell off my dinosaur

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I haven't taken a shower. Tomorrow I'll be beautiful. You, however, are stupid and will be stupid tomorrow.

You're so full of shit your breath stinks!

Is that your head or did your neck throw-up?

With breath like that, you shouldn't say anything at all.

You're so low, you have to climb up a ladder to reach the bottom.

Nice come back, now wipe that off your chin.

Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.

I've been called worse by better.

You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

My other ride is your mom.

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!