Good Comebacks

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?

You asked for my number I said.. 1-800 Dream On !!

You're as fake as a three dollar bill!

Shock me, say something intelligent.

Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?

You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.

I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.

You don't believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.