Best Casual Insults

It would be nice if we could manage to get on the same level, but I'll never get that low and you'll never get this high.

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

Grip your ears firmly, and pull your head out of your ass.

Bitch, please. You're as useless as the "ay" in "okay".

I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of a non-insulting way to describe you.

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.

You got more issues than National Geographic!

Stop editing your pictures so much. What if you go missing?

Were you born an idiot or have you had to work at it?

I really wish we were better strangers.

Looks like you got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.

I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.

No one asked me how my day was. Person says: How was your day? You: Like your mom's penis, long and hard

You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse!

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.

I used to want a pet monkey, but that was before I met you.

You know what happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME

I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

I heard that you were a lady-killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.