Best Casual Insults

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

I hate you. Maybe not in the "I hope you die" kind of way, rather "I hope you develop an allergy to bacon". And ice cream.

Some people deserve to have eggs thrown at them... brick-shaped eggs... made of bricks.

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

Somebody call the zoo! There's been an escape from the simian exhibit.

I'd love to stay and chat, but to be honest I'd rather have type 2 diabetes.

You're the human version of "unexpected item in the bagging area".

You're so boring, paint watches you dry.