Best Casual Insults

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin' bottle.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

Twinkle twinkle little snitch,
Mind your own business you nosy bitch.

If I were a dog and you were a flower I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.

How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I can honestly say,
it sucks to be you.

Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

If you're talking about me behind my back, that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

Two things:
1. Where have you been all my life?
2. Can you please go back there?

You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you.

Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.

Wow! That's a lovely shade of ultra-bitch you're wearing today.

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.

Common sense is like deodorant; the people that need it the most, never use it.

Somebody call animal control! There's a stray bitch running around!

You got more issues than National Geographic!

No one asked me how my day was.
Person says: How was your day?
You: Like your mom's penis, long and hard

You know what happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME