Casual Insults

Some people deserve to have eggs thrown at them... brick-shaped eggs... made of bricks.

I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.

Bitch, please. You're as useless as the "ay" in "okay".

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called happiness.

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

I heard that you were a lady-killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Grip your ears firmly, and pull your head out of your ass.

You remind me of a penny; you're two-faced, worthless and CRUSTY AS HELL!

Somebody call animal control! There's a stray bitch running around!

I used to want a pet monkey, but that was before I met you.

If you're talking about me behind my back, that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

I'd love to stay and chat, but to be honest I'd rather have type 2 diabetes.

Were you born an idiot or have you had to work at it?

Looks like you got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

If I were a dog and you were a flower I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.

Somebody call the zoo! There's been an escape from the simian exhibit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you.

No one asked me how my day was. Person says: How was your day? You: Like your mom's penis, long and hard

How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?

You know what happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME