Best Insults and Comebacks

Honey, your makeup looks like you got gang-banged by Crayola!

You didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When they gave out lives, Where were you?

How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?

If I ever needed a brain transplant I would pick yours because I want one that hasn't been used yet.

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called happiness.

Go put some sand in your crotch, it will make the crabs feel at home.

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Everyone has a right to be stupid. You are abusing the privilege

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

You make me wish I was born with more middle fingers.

You could make a fortune helping people loose weight; one look at you and they loose their appetite!

Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

If horse-shit was piled up to your height, I'd have trouble telling you apart.

The only vagina that you're going to ever see is the one that you fell out of when you were born.

What did your left leg say to your right leg? Nothing! They've never met.

If you ever wonder how mistakes are made you should go ask your mother. She knows all about it, she's got you to prove.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Person 1: Can't you take a joke? Person 2: Yeah, I could. If you had one.

Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?