Best Insults and Comebacks

You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!

When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

Bitch please, don't be proud if every guy wants you. Cheap items have many buyers.

I thought bra's are meant for boobs not tissues

Yo momma so fat, not even Dora can explore her.

Person: You are what you eat. Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.

You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.

I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside, bitch.

I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

You're so dumb that you got hit by a parked car.

If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!

That's weird. After I typed your name, it auto-corrected it to "whore".

Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.

Yo momma's so stupid, she took a ruler with her to bed to see how long she slept.

Some people are like slinkies; they're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

You're the dick you'll never have.

Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth just naturally full of shit?

I won't make fun of your height, I wouldn't stoop that low.

*Sneeze* Oh, excuse me! I'm allergic to bullshit.