Best Insults and Comebacks

Insult: Fail! Comeback: Just like your social life

If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.

If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in good shape

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

You talk so much shit, I'm starting to smell it on your breath.

You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it's still printing.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

Somebody call animal control! There's a stray bitch running around!

God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.

If your IQ was as high as your weight, you'd be a genius.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I feel bad for the guys, That end up with you.

Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't.

Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the fuck up.

Yo momma's so fat, I tried to walk around her and got lost.

Dear Slut, your right leg misses your left leg.

Come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your age.

If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.

Ex: You'll never find someone like me. You: That's the point.

Cool story bro, now when's the part when I give a fuck?

Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!