Best Insults and Comebacks

You are proof that mouths can get diarrhea.

You're so poor, the only time you ever had meat for dinner was when you bit your tongue.

Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

You are the only person I've ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time!

Hey jerk! You are driving a car, not a phone booth

A couplet short of a sonnet.

You so stupid you probably think Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

You're a wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits... huh?

What's the latest dope -- besides you?

Die Yuppie Scum!

A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.

Yo momma so fat she went to KFC, and when they asked her what size bucket she wanted, she said, "The one on the roof."

A cup and saucer short of a place setting.

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you?

A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.

You suffer from symbolic phallic tendencies .

A 20th century man... The guy has no future.

You couldn't win a vote in a room on your own.

You're so two-faced you could run both campaigns.