Best Insults and Comebacks

Who wears your CLEAN clothes?

I would call you a cunt but you don't have the depth or the warmth.

They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did?

You're so ugly, you almost look like your mother did, before the operation.

You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!

I have heard of being hit with an ugly-stick, but you were clearly hit out of the park.

Yo mammas like a bagel, soft, round and has a hole in the middle.

You're so ugly, when you looked in a mirror it cracked and fell.

Yo momma like a door knob: Everyone gets a turn.

What did you have for breakfast? Ugly-o's?

She's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

Yo momma like a screen door: After a couple bangs she loosens up!

I'd love to stay and chat, but to be honest I'd rather have type 2 diabetes.

Yo momma's so poor, she takes the trash in.

Yo momma is so fat, she's taller sideways.

Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.

Yo momma's so cheap, she hangs up the toliet paper to dry.

Yo momma's so fat she fell off of 8th avenue and landed on the 12th