Best Insults and Comebacks

Yo mommas so fat she thinks the carwash is her shower

She was so ugly, they used to push her face into dough to make gorilla biscuits.

You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.

[Thine] breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.

In the dictionary under the word, "stupid," it says, "see him."

You don't believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself.

They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world.

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

You remind me of a toothache I once had.

Walmart wants you. They've run out of stupid.

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?

If your brains were dynamite, they wouldn't even ruffle your hair.

Your house is so unsanitary, I went to the kitchen to get a snack and found roaches twerking in the fridge.

Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.

Yo mama is so fat, Chuck Norris couldn't pick her up.

Yo momma's so fat she's done with a marathon before it starts.

In civility thou seem'st so empty.

The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it alltogether.