Best Insults and Comebacks

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

You're so ugly, you couldn't get laid in a morgue.

I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.

Your so stupid, that you went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!

Thou burly-boned fat-kidneyed minnow!

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.

I'm sorry, how small did you say your chode was again?

When you open your mouth, the flies on the other side of the world notice.

Your so fat when you go to Sea World they pay you!

Yo momma's so fat, when I wash her clothes, I say "Damn, whose are these bed sheets?!"

If you were any uglier, neanderthals would have superiority complex.

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.

Yo momma so fat, when she wears yellow, the kids mistake her for the school bus.

If I had balls, they would be bigger than yours.

Yo momma's so stupid, she had you.

Somebody call the zoo! There's been an escape from the simian exhibit.

Yo momma's so dumb, she thought Fleetwood Mac was a burger at McDonald's.

You're so developed, a plane can crash into your boobs.