Best Insults and Comebacks

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.

Common sense is like deodorant; the people that need it the most, never use it.

You tried to set your password as "Mypenis", but it came back with: "Error. Not long enough."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I can honestly say, it sucks to be you.

I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.

Nice "cumback", did you scrape it from the back of your throat?

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

Person: Haven't I seen you some place before? You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Garbage is dumped, And so are you.

Life isn't a garden, so stop being a hoe.

I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you.

Aww, what happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?

When you stepped on the scale I thought my phone number popped up.

I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.

You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.

No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.

Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can't laugh either!