Best Insults and Comebacks

I can't listen to you right now. I still have a headache from your mom screaming last night.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

Wow, I see you have fallen from heaven, but landed with your face.

I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

Yo mamma's so ugly, if she became a scarecrow all the corn would run away.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

Insult: You smell. Comeback: Like your Mom's pussy!

My other ride is your mom.

You're so poor that when I asked if I could use the bathroom at your house your mom gave me two sticks, one to hold the ceiling up and one to fight the cockroaches.

Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?

You're like a showbag; full of shit.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.

If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents libel.

You'd make a lovely corpse!

You're so poor, when you went to a charity shop you asked when the sales are on.

You're so uptight, if I stuck a piece of coal up your ass, within a week it would be a diamond.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

There are millions of particles in the universe that we can observe, your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.