Best Insults and Comebacks

Insult: Kiss my ass. Girl: Which one? Because either way I'd get a mouthful of shit!

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

Yo momma is so fat, not even God can lift her spirits.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Yo momma's so fat she has to use a mattress as a tampon

This is the government's plan to see if monkeys can type, and I have to say: they successfully accomplished that.

I hate you. Maybe not in the "I hope you die" kind of way, rather "I hope you develop an allergy to bacon". And ice cream.

Your comebacks are the same just like the size of your dick; small and pedantic.

Your face can shrivel a man like a 3 hour bath.

I haven't taken a shower. Tomorrow I'll be beautiful. You, however, are stupid and will be stupid tomorrow.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.

Yo mamma's so fat when she went to the beach the all the whales jumped out and started singing "We are Family"

Yo momma's so fat, when she got on the scale it said to infinity and beyond.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.

Oi ginger get back in the biscuit tin.

Do you do that with your hair everyday?

You're so fat, your blood type is Ragu.

Some people deserve to have eggs thrown at them... brick-shaped eggs... made of bricks.