Best Insults and Comebacks

Insult: You suck. Comeback: Not for free.

You're so old, you left your purse on Noah's ark.

Yo momma's so fat she wears a real horse on her Polo shirt.

Instant idiot. Just add alcohol.

Yo momma's just like a bookbag, she gets something stuck in her everyday.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes inside an elevator, the only direction is always down.

You're so old, the Three Wise Men helped you with your homework.

I don't know which face to talk to, since you have two.

Your chest is as flat as a landing strip.

Yo momma's so poor, I stepped on a cigarette and she came and asked who turned the heater off.

You should donate blood. All of it!

Did you stick your tampon too far up your crotch?

Yo momma's like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

God loves you. But no one else does!

You have such a striking face. Tell me, how many times were you struck?

Yo momma's so fat, she broke the stair way to heaven.

If you had another brain, it would be lonely.

Your sex life is like the rainbow; crazy people search for it, midgets have gone through it, and every gayman in America supports it.

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck?! Oh, it's your head!