Best Insults and Comebacks

Bully: You're stupid! Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.

Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car, Throw you off a cliff so high, I hope you break your neck and die.

If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.

If you're talking about me behind my back, that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!

If I were a dog and you were a flower I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.

You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.

You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.

Dimes are silver, pennies are brass, why does your face, look like your ass?

Bully: Give me your money! Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin' bottle.

Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra

Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.

Insult: Suck my dick! Comeback: Why take the job away from your mother?

By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.