Best Insults and Comebacks

Yo Momma's so ugly on Halloween, people go as her.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

Did you fall on concrete again? Oh sorry.... I forgot that was your "natural" look.

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

I might be scared of your face, but not you.

Know what makes me laugh hard? Your life!

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.

You're so fat, if I dropped a bag of Maltesers near you it would be a real life game of hungry hippos!

When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there, serving them drinks.

Yo momma like a bus: Fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

Yo momma like a revolving door: Everyone gets a turn.

You started at the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since.

Your grandfather is so old he remembers when the dead sea was just feeling ill.

You're not worth it. You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

You're so short you would drown by the time you realised it was raining.

Your beauty is so rare, no one can find it.

You're so ugly, you have a face not even a dog would lick.

You're so short, you can do back flips under your bed.