Best Insults and Comebacks

Hello sir. OH I'm sorry I didn't realize your breasts were so small! I'll try to be more observant next time.

You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought cheerios were donut seeds.

If I wanted an ass's opinion I would have asked my donkey.

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Yo momma's so fat, she needs two tickets to be able to ride the roller coaster.

Some girls look beautiful with or without make-up. Neither is working for you so you should go and put a bag over your head so no one else has to suffer.

I just stepped in something that was smarter than you, and it smelled better.

Your mother's got two cunts, and you're one of them.

Some people carry ketchup with them, some people carry maple syrup with them. But you, you carry the whole fucking McDonald's!

Yo momma's so fat when she farts its almost like a volcanic eruption.

He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on her iPod, she made it an iPad.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?

I can hear you with all that dick in you mouth.

Is that your head or did your neck throw-up?

You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

300 million sperm cells, and you were the quickest?!

Person: Does this dress make me look fat? You: No, your fat makes you look fat.