Best Insults and Comebacks

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.

Did someone order a cunt? Because one's just showed up.

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

You're so fat when you fell in love, you broke it.

You've a face like a million dollars - all green and wrinkled.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.

Shut up, you failed result of an abortion.

You might as well wear a tampon on your head because if you're gonna act like a pussy you might as well look like one too.

You're so ugly that when you entered the Ms Ugly competition they said "Sorry, no professionals allowed."

Your mother must have had to take a double dose of laxatives to bring you into the world.

They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses the pacific ocean to take a bath.

I'd try being nicer if you try being smarter.

You are so computer illiterate, you shake your laptop to get the cookies out

Is that your face or is today Halloween?

I'm no gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

Your so stupid, that you got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Insult: Where do you think you're going to put that? Comback: Bend over and I'll show you. ;)