Best Insults and Comebacks

The highest-rated insults and comebacks on the website.

  • 41
    I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    1K
  • 42
    By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.
    1K
  • 43
    Insult: You're a pussy.
    Comeback: Well, you are what you eat. Guess that makes you a dick.
    1K
  • 44
    Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin' bottle.
    969
  • 45
    I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    968
  • 46
    Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
    962
  • 47
    Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.
    948
  • 48
    I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.
    911
  • 49
    Insult: You're jealous!
    Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.
    909
  • 50
    God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
    902
  • 51
    By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.
    901
  • 52
    If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!
    897
  • 53
    God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.
    886
  • 54
    You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
    878
  • 55
    Insult: Why are you so fat?
    Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.
    875
  • 56
    You know what's funny? Not you, so shut up.
    867
  • 57
    I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.
    856
  • 58
    Yo momma's so poor, I saw her chasing the garbage truck with a shopping list.
    839
  • 59
    Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)
    829
  • 60
    Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
    829