Best Insults and Comebacks

Yo momma like a Christmas tree: Everybody hangs balls on her.

Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

Yo momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific ocean.

You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"

I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.

Insult: You're gay. Comeback : Bitch, I'm straighter than the pole your mother danced on last night.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop

Nice tan! What's your race? Carrot?

Your IQ involves the square root of -1.

You're just mad cause your Tampon's in too far.

Go and take a LONG walk off a SHORT cliff.

I heard your mom got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job.

Yo Momma is so fat she walked out in high heels and came back in flip flops.

Insult: FUCK YOU! Comeback: No thanks, I don't want herpes.

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.

And what are YOU? The poster boy for birth control?

Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.

It would be nice if we could manage to get on the same level, but I'll never get that low and you'll never get this high.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?