Best Insults and Comebacks

Quick, check your face! I just found your nose in my business.

There's only one trouble with your face - it shows!

Your so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!

Pretty sure you were conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.

I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.

I'm not saying I hate you, I just hope you get fingered by Wolverine.

That's what happens to you when your pussy has been invaded more than Poland.

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde

You're the reason god created double doors!

Insult: Shut up. Comeback: Make me Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.

Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner; she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.

Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.

You're so ugly when you went to the haunted house they offered you a job.

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

I would tell you to go fuck yourself but I'm pretty sure you'd be disappointed.

You're so fake, you make Barbie Dolls look real!

Twinkle twinkle little slut, You like dick inside your butt.