Best Insults and Comebacks

Yo momma is so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her butt and then her face and said twins!

You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

If your boobs are so big why are there 17 socks in there?

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was a penis.

You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.

Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.

I have heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of rice crispies!

You're so fat that the only thing stopping you from going to weight watchers is the door.

I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

If shit took a look at you it would say hi mom.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Yo mamma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn

Yo momma's so fat, when the door bell rings she runs to the microwave!

You're so poor, I lit a match and the roaches ran out singing "clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the lord cause we got heat!"

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Do you accidentally wipe your face after taking a shit?

Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.