Best Insults and Comebacks

You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.

I was hoping for a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.

When you were younger, did your parents have to tie a steak around your neck so the other dogs would play with you?

Yo momma's so stupid she walked past the YMCA and said look, somebody spelled MACY'S wrong.

You're so poor, when you asked your Mom what's for dinner she opened her legs and said crabs.

You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.

Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?

Everyone stop insulting him, he has enough on his plate already.

At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter from the Trojan Co.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

Zombies eat brains... you're safe.

Your village just called. They're missing an idiot.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

I don't hate you, but I wish your dad used a condom.

Insult: Bitch! Comeback: At least I'm not yours.

Yo momma's like a library, she's always open to the public.

I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.

Yo momma's so fat, I took a picture of her last christmas and it's still printing.

You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!

Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.