Best Insults and Comebacks

I fart to make you smell better.

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain

I would insult your mother, but cows are sacred in my country.

You're so fat, when you went to space, there was no space left.

You're so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.

So you've changed your mind. Does the new one work any better?

Yo momma is so dumb, when she was in the back of a cop car, she called the police and said she had been kidnapped.

Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!

Yo momma's like a penny; two faced and worthless.

I knew pussies had lips, but I didn't know they could talk.

Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves!

Your vagina's like a joint, it gets passed around and hit till you can't hit that shit anymore.

You're so poor you're always talking about the time you almost ate at a restaurant!

Insult: You're gay! You: You wish.

I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.

Yo momma's so fat that when she farted, she started global warming.

Yo momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she gets a family discount.

You're so bald, you look like a corn dog with eyebrows.